I have few friends in San Francisco and even fewer who are funny. Last weekend, my girlfriend, Lauren, and I went out with Ryan and his fiance, Stephanie for dinner and drinks. You can read all about them on their disturbingly in depth blog www.hupandsteph.com. Ryan is the kind of character I like to call a “party catalyst.” He’s throbbing with enthusiasm and he makes you think he’s going to whip it out at any moment and start whacking away out of pure excitement. His Fiance, who shares the same zest for life would just look at you and say “Isn’t Ryan great at yanking his dode?” They’re a wonderful match.

 

 Anyway, it was an unseasonably warm night and I brought both a black sweater and my Northface jacket.  Needless to say I was sweating like a pedaphile in a preschool. What? Okay, let me try that again.  Needless to say, I was sweating like a pedaphile in a preschool. Aw, fuck it man.  Moving on, I left my jacket at Ryan’s new palatial apartment in the SOMA(South of Market st.) neighborhood.  He brought it to work a couple days later and I went downtown and picked it up. When I put the jacket on again a couple days after that, I found one note in each pocket. My first thought was “Why am I writing notes to myself?” But they weren’t from me.

 

 

These jacket jokes really made my day. Ryan could have easily just given me the jacket with a standard reach around, and the whole experience would have been completely forgettable. You see, Ryan has a special brain, which usually requires him to wear a helmet, but sometimes his brain searches for a way to make a joke.  What a priceless quality! If only he were funny.

I like that both of his jokes ended with all capital letters to really drive the point home.

There’s also the subject matter to take into account. One joke about liking little boys and the other is about having a small penis. I believe this is known as projecting in the psychology community.  

Anyway you cut it, the concept of returning lost or forgotten articles with jokes in them is a winner. Too bad Ryan’s a loser…With a small penis.